Sketch #464

Are we in the same boat? I guess we are, although it seems we’re going always against the current. Should we steer towards somewhere? Or should we let fortune take us? Letting paper boats go with a wish feels so nice. Page read by Kat Belolli.

Day/Page/Sketch #463

Why should I bother? What is the meaning of all this? Why should I raise questions? It would be better if I would continue burying my emotions under layers of undisturbed expression, composed, contented, submissive, alone, in the company of ridiculous illusions.

Day/Page/Sketch #462

8:40 AM: The Havisham Hour. Day/Page/Sketch 462 of 513 from Charles Dickens’ Great Expectations. –I am indifferent when I am not disposed. I am not passive when I am resigned. When you create, you endanger your freedom and that makes some people uncomfortable. Freedom is not the absence of danger, as we are made to believe.– Page read by KATHRYN GARCIA here: http://goo.gl/XBMg1e. Visit http://www.HavishamHour.com to order fine prints, listen to previous podcasts, and to learn more about this project. ©2014 Julio Panisello.

Day/Page/Sketch #461

(In) Excuse me, are we a little boat? (Out) Never! (In) My mom says it won’t last. (Out) Everybody knows that! (In) Is this a trick? (Out) I need some beauty before I die. In and out, in and out, in and out.

Day/Page/Sketch #460

There is no relief in realizing how frightening it is to dissolve into an inky river after the person who’s supposed to pull you out of the flowing stream suddenly eclipses. Your head, the only part of your body above the cold, dark water, feels as solitary as the moments of profound regret. You’re alone with your own self-destructive thoughts, and you are going to freeze.

Day/Page/Sketch #459

The solitary side effects under the direct sun: rebirth, stillness, depth, serenity, pause, nourishment, privacy, release, growth, thoughtlessness, life. It all lasts an instant, we make last an instant.

Day/Page/Sketch #458

Some mornings I see symmetries flowing away with the sharp morning air. I like fireplaces, they remind me of the good parts of my grandfather. I’ve never stopped to think why we like to burn things up.

Day/Page/Sketch #457

The times I feel I will fall in sick precisely when my responsibility is indispensable. Ideas may seem more useless than things, but they hold the same power to wear you and tear you. When you think you may get sick, you get sick.

Day/Page/Sketch #456

8:40 AM: The Havisham Hour. Day/Page/Sketch 456 of 513 from Charles Dickens’ Great Expectations. –Those times when I feel like a resentful harlequin, drinking the bitter venom of others while being left in a corner to smile. I pull the petals of a daisy that a stranger slipped under the door: detains me, detains me not.– Page read by JULIO PANISELLO here: http://goo.gl/h61rCL. Visit http://www.HavishamHour.com to order fine prints, listen to previous podcasts, and to learn more about this project. ©2014 Julio Panisello.

Day/Page/Sketch #455

Inconsistency is natural. Inconsistency is not valued. Our environment wants us to be consistent to be successful, which means you have to be uncreative. Do me a favor, if you are an artist I beg you to be inconsistent.

Day/Page/Sketch #454

Being sentimental places you in a state where you stop participating in complexity, where you avoid reality. But if you avoid sentimentalism too much you are going to lose your innocence. Strike a balance.

Day/Page/Sketch #453

When there is no grain of hope left but things eventually and luckily change for the better, some of us remember that dark place we came out of, some of us simply forget.

Day/Page/Sketch #452

Life flashes before my eyes quite frequently. I do see portions of it play in fast forward before my lungs exhale. But then I inhale again and move on living.

Day/Page/Sketch #451

I can see pain in someone’s eyes, I don’t need to see tears.

Day/Page/Sketch #450

Every time I attend a funeral it seems the person who just left lived an impeccable life, a flawless existence. No one wants to remember the struggles, the omissions, the agony and doubt. No one wants to remember the crisis and the chaos. No one tells you that we exist as long as we suffer.