A few times in my life I’ve had the feeling of getting to a turning point, a specific moment when I knew my expectations would not be deceiving and so they didn’t have to be lowered. It’s happened perhaps only twice, maybe 3 times? I think that’s plenty.
It seems like today no one gives out patronage to other people without seeking recognition. The Good Samaritan doesn’t want to remain silent and anonymous anymore, but rather expects being in the spotlight, anticipating the applause, presuming the attention.
Special thanks to the Bouvier Beale family http://www.greygardenscollections.com.
Sometimes I think that the constant fight to amass things that weigh on us and subjugate us comes from the inability to live the present. What is that I insist on achieving? What happens if I don’t get there?
So many times I’ve resisted change to break a bad habit by projecting a negative outcome from it, even though I didn’t have any knowledge or experience to validate that projection. Why do we feel so comfortable with our own old ways? Why is it so hard to trust new ones?
It’s amazing how we can be so unconsciously insensitive sometimes, and say the most hurtful things while being completely unaware of our own stupidity. I think part of that is caused when you have the same kind of friends, that talk the same, think the same, and look the same. Care for someone different than you and you will be a better person.
Those uncertain and unpunctual moments that strike me unexpectedly, when I feel I don’t know whether I am desperate or not, when everything has a bitter taste. On those moments I feel my hands cold, and my dreams lost in the clouds. It takes a bit of time for me to let them go and recover.
I struggle sometimes with the idea of having principles and morals when there are so many crazy people in the world. Isn’t our lucidity responsible for their craziness?
My History teacher in High School was also my college counselor. She reproved me for thinking of a career in Fine Arts. She said it was a waste. My brother was already in college, and he encouraged me to take it. After much thought, I listened to my brother. I’m glad I did. But I also wanted to study architecture. I still do.